Refuah Sheleimah!
It is hard to understand depression unless you have been there or you are trained in the subject.
Firstly, kudos for reaching out for help. Secondly don’t be hard on yourself you did not cause this to happen. If you have any idea what triggered it or what makes you feel sad, you can truly help your doctors make progress with your case. Don’t be afraid to bring your family into the picture if it will help. In many cases family therapy is warranted.
Now is NOT a good time to do chessed for others or to volunteer. You have to put yourself at the top of your priority list. YOU need to concentrate on how YOU feel and what YOU can concentrate on and do. Do not expect too much of yourself, you are a work in progress and it will take time as well as the right medication to get you back to where you can recognize yourself and you feel like yourself again. You might feel like your hugging the bed and not really waking up till late in the afternoons and not really functioning or able to concentrate till the evenings. This is normal for depression and it is not “you” it is the disease. You might find that you are gaining weight or you have the munchies that could be a side effect from the meds. Let the doctor know immediately. You may find that you lose your appetite. Let your doctor know immediately. You may find that you are antsy or anxious if you are left alone and feel more comfortable if someone is with you, that is also one of the manifestations of the disease. There are many. You might want to be alone or you might want some company.
You might find that you can’t even concentrate enough to read a book, or to answer your emails or to follow a tv program. Understand that these things can happen and don’t let it get to you. That is why I say that NOW is not the best time to push yourself to volunteer or to be responsible to other people. Do whatever you can for yourself and don’t worry about others counting on you. No one is more important at this minute than you are. No one’s problems or issues are more important at this time than yours. You can’t help anyone if you are not well and happy. So right now be as selfish as you need to be and just take care of numero uno, you.
Do whatever makes you feel happy, calm, relaxed and content. Try to be as open and as honest with your therapist as possible. Set your goals with your therapist and don’t let anyone else push or prod you. Let your psychiatrist know how our therapy sessions are going and how you are doing on your medication. Again be as honest with him/her as you can. They are not mind readers and they can’t help you if you are not honest.
Understand that a patient and therapist is NOT a shidduch and if you don’t feel you can communicate with the one you have be honest with your psychiatrist and let him know. The whole point now is honesty and getting to the root of your problem so that you get well. You have a life to get back to, you have school to catch up on and a whole world that is continuing without you, so you need to work WITH your doctors and help them to help you. You have to trust these people in order for them to treat you appropriately.
Teenagers have many secrets and have way too many obligations to others vis a vis promises, secrets, knowledge of things they shouldn’t know, knowledge of family illnesses and of problems in shalom bayis and finances. These adds way too much stress and anxiety for the average teen. There are also issues that we have discussed here with inappropriate speech and actions whether in the home or outside in reference to sexual harassment or molestation. There are also many, many issues of bullying that teenagers go through. Some of these hidden issues that teenagers keep secret can manifest themselves into depression. Teens need to realize that if they are already seeing a professional that Hashem has helped them find a yeshuah and that they now have someone they can unburden to, someone who can help them escape their nightmares. I am IN NO WAY suggesting or implying that this is the case with the OP, i am saying that WHATEVER her situation is SHE should be honest with her therapists so that they can help her and guide her. AND if anyone else finds themselves in that situation they too should be honest with their therapists to they can be helped before their illness gets worse.