2morecents: I agree with a lot of what you said, but I think you may have been a little too harsh.
Your being a self centered, selfish, egotist that demands those closest to you to perform in ways that fill your over-sized ego issues.
A woman should care about her husbands spirituality. However, it should be out of love, selflessness, and concern, for him.
I think they usually get to share in Gan Eiden. She can want that. She should though, make herself aware of the halochos.