Derech Hamelech,
If you are being supported by others, then Kollel is a luxury. If you are independantly wealthy and supporting yourself, its a luxury you are paying for on your own. Having enough money to support yourself without having to work (and thus being able to learn full time) is a luxury. I’m not sure why this concept is difficult.
Why don’t I support Kollelim? Because there are Jewish children who are starving. There are sick people who need medical care. The guy sitting and learning in Lakewood? A nice luxury, but not a necessity.
I don’t think Y/Z was wrong. It was a choice they made. Often at the expense of others who actually need the money. Every dollar donated to Kollel is a dollar that could be used to help sick, dying people. The money could be spent feeding poor children.
I don’t consider Kollel families “in need.”