OfCourse – I think you are underestimating the #’s by an awful lot. There are wedding packages nowadays in a limited amount of halls for approximately $10-15K, but that is only in a small less-than-handful of halls. I know first hand, having run the numbers for weddings, that it is usually much costlier, & I’m not speaking about the finest of everything (one-man band, silk flowers or Gmach,limited liquor, etc.)
Re: the question — this is a no-brainer for me. The Down Payment of course. I also viewed it as:
Why put on a show, feeding the world (most of whom you don’t really care about) the finest of meals (that they won’t remember the following day), cause stress to those who are picking up the tab, and then move into a leaky basement or an apartment with no growth, where YOU end up stressing to pay rent OR
Get married simply, with the goal of “getting married” in mind, forget about what the yentas will say, forget about satiating the food-dwellers, cut costs & save money so that you don’t end up being short-changed or broke the following day.
One of the most important rules I learnt re: making a simcha from my parents is: don’t make a simcha depending on the gifts you’ll get.
Lastly, I commend & admire your outlook, yogi. It’s extremely healthy & I’m sure your mom, who sacrificed for you, is incredibly proud.