“Would anyone like to make any snarky and judgmental comments about our Pesach plans?”
No. Clearly, in your case, the need to go away is imperative, and syata d’shmaya will see to it that you / your family will have a chag kosher v’sameach, and a refua shelema!
The snarky comments are aimed at the folks who, well you know who those folks are. And if you don’t, lucky you! (I do…Bklyn has loads of them)