Hey everyone, new poster here.
s2021 – I’m following your story (at least on this thread) and am really impressed with how you can wake up in the morning (okay, most mornings) and go on with your life. Do you feel that you gained/grew from the experience in any way, no matter how slight?
If yes, I wonder if you can apply that to your davening question. I can’t put myself in your shoes, but from my own abuse experience (different type though – I’m a guy), that’s one of the things that keeps me going – the knowledge that no matter how much it affected me then, and still affects me today, it’s all part of some Plan that I was supposed to go through the whole ordeal. There’s a couple of good things I’ve been able to take out of it (obviously not enough to make it worth it), and I have tried really hard to get to a level where I realize that Someone meant for this to happen, and in the long run it was really best for me. I can’t say that I’m there yet, but I’m trying…
And btw, I don’t think people realize how right you are about needing to have guidance. If someone tries going thru this him/herself, there’s no way it’s going to end up even remotely good.