You want someone to be real? i will be real. Marriage is hard and not so fun at times, but working on it for real gives you the most amazing feeling. We can get away in life without putting in too much effort, but when someone else is involved, you can’t, unless you both make a pact to be unhappy. My wife and I were having some issues- mainly compatibility issues so we decided to go for therapy and it worked! we constantly put in effort, for sure…but it is so much better. Also, because the secular world has gone to such an extreme (negative!) with regard to matters of Kedusha, the frum world, rightly or wrongly, has responded by not talking about it at all (and no, 10 kalla classes with hints don’t count). So people are going into marriage thinking these things are wrong, tammeh, and not nice. I once heard a famous frum writer and therapist say that most of his practice deals with chassidish/ yeshivish couples in this area. Find a good teacher…retake Kalla/chosson classes…or see a therapist to make your marriage as good as it can be!
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