Yes, people would rather hear, “it’s not your fault”.
As it happens, it is often true also.
Dovid Hamelech praised Hashem using the language “???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ?????? ???? ????, implying that ???? was like an enemy.
Hashem responded by telling him that if Dovid would have had Shaul’s job in life, he would have failed miserably.
We don’t all start out evenly, and our life experiences make it even more unequal. When most children of an abusive father are abusive, it is not hard to imagine that it is something besides bad choices and middos.
Luckily, Hashem only judges us according to our situation and abilities. So we don’t have to worry about the CR Judges.