why would not being 1,000% certain of a posters gender affect whether its permissible?? if a boy and girl, who never met each other, were “pen pals” and wrote platonic letters to each other every day, would that be okay? can he/she excuse it with the excuse that maybe the pen pal is not being honest about his/her gender? i dont see that. for the most part, i think most posters know other posters gender, and whether it is the opposite of their own.
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