Eclipse, aries has some great advice. Document everything – write what he said, how you responded, what date and time the conversation was at. Responding “really, huh, oh my, is that so” is a good stalling technique when talking to someone who might be trying to gaslight you. If they’re good enough at it, it still may not help. I was gaslighted by a family member, “A”, in my teens (not in a frum environment). It was flat out verbal, mental, and emotional abuse, but I was made to think it was “all my fault” that I was stupid, worthless, couldn’t do anything right, etc. etc. I really thought I was crazy. It took years of therapy to cope with the constant manipulation, abuse, fear, horrible expletives… the family member who should have protected me, “B”, who I completely trusted and loved, was completely passive and let the abuse take place. Years later, after another family member, “C”, passed away, I found papers among their possessions that detailed “B”s abuse of other family members (physical assault against “C”, threatening physical harm and worse against other relatives). My trust was completely shattered and it was the beginning of the realization that there were other ways that “B” had failed me. Like, maybe I wasn’t crazy after all? For the sake of my own self-preservation, I have little contact with them anymore. It was a rough learning experience to say the least, but if I would have done anything differently, it would have been to speak up sooner, to risk reaching out for help sooner. I was terrified and felt trapped. But I also know that it happened just as Hashem would have it happen, and I understand a lot more now than I did then.
Eclipse, trust your intuition, and document everything. Be very careful what you put on a public forum (no, this is not my original screen name). And daven… hatzlacha…