Reply To: Stop minding your own buisness!

Sorry for the late responses, everyone…

aries2756:

“MW, you want to argue with me but I don’t want to argue with you.”

This is not meant to be offensive so please don’t take it the wrong way, but if you don’t want to argue with me why are you commenting on this thread?

“I brought down points that were discussed in the other thread but you want to credit them to me personally.”

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that.

“If they will not listen and make the correction YOU are NOT allowed to give the tochecha because it makes their “knowledgeable” action worse.”

First of all, as you yourself said this argument only works “if they will not listen”. I see no reason to automatically assume that this is the case.

Second, I believe that this argument actually stems from a Gemora, which says this only applies by issuray di’Rabbanan not by issuray di’Oraysa.

“There was a very frum older woman in BP who used to walk over to every young woman and any woman and point to their open collar and tell them to close their top button. Most women did NOT appreciate it. They left their top button open because they wanted to and they did not close their top button because she told them too. So did her tochacha help or harm?”

From what you have just told me, it seems that it did more harm than good. However, I believe this is because she did not give tochacha in the proper, effective form. As I said earlier, tochacha should be given in a friendly, not offensive manner. Walk over, strike up a conversation, then mention “oh by the way my Rav holds your not allowed to do xyz, does your Rav hold different?

Avram in MD:

“I think you are correct in principle, but one cannot understate the difficulty and risk in properly giving tochacha to a Jewish soul. That is why, I think, you are receiving objections to your post. The Kohen Gadol must enter the Holy on Yom Kippur in a very precise fashion… any mistakes can be disasterous. I think giving tochacha should be approached with the same fear and awe.”

I fully agree. However, just because something must be done precisely is no reason to suggest not doing it all.