the fastest way to get a degree is on the web, from Thunderwood College, a genuine unaccredited institution. They will not lie to you and tell you they are accredited by some unrecognized accrediting body.
You can choose your field of specialty and print out the diploma in minutes, with tools you probably have around the house.
http://thunderwoodcollege.com/
I got my Doctor of Divinity degree this way, from another fine institution. My Ph.D. is honorary, from the Millard Fillmore Institute, but I had to earn it the old-fashioned way, I had to win an essay contest.