HaLeiVi: Replace the turban with a black hat or yarmulka. Exchange the white robe for a white shirt and black suit. Add glasses. Presto, Osama could easily pass for a maggid shiur in any mainstream yeshiva.
Now, with my custom-made tinfoil hat with the extra long rabbit ears firmly in place on my head, i will reveal to you all the truth behind the headlines. Osama bin Laden is not dead, he is in the White House. He is the power behind Barack Obama. Where was Obama before 9/11? Training with the taliban, that’s where. Community organizing in the caves of Afghanistan.
Unfortunately i am not at liberty to reveal more at this time but to those who will remove the blinders from their eyes and the cotton from between their ears, it should not be necessary to elaborate.