Unfortunately there is every reason to get emotionally involved and that is because whether THIS particular story is true or not this situation is all too true. AND because there are way too many Yiddishe neshomas chased away from yiddisheit and lost to us because of foolish stubborn decisions made on protocol and not on seichel and compassion when that is what is really needed. In addition, many of the parents who insist that these “bad” kids be thrown out face the same nisyonos somewhere down the line with their own kids or kids that are close to them. At that time they are not running to the administration with “demands” they are running to the hanhalah begging for compassion and mercy.
In addition, the Yeshiva community have not come together to work out a way to transfer students from the Yeshivish to the more modern academia where these infractions would NOT be an issue. They are thrown out to the streets and once thrown out NO OTHER yeshiva will touch them with a ten foot pole. Why can’t the Rosh call the modern orthodox yeshiva and say to the menahel or Rosh there, “I have an excellent student, a metzuyan academically but he broke the rule by speaking to a girl. Could you please give him a farher, you will be very pleased with him.” Why must a bochur be treated like yesterday’s garbage? Why not find some other form of consequence? Honestly, he didn’t ruin his life by speaking to a girl, the yeshiva did. He could have been helped. Many of the kids that have been shoved off the derech could have been helped and aided by caring mentors. And yes, many might not have cared because the issues did not begin in the yeshiva but in the home. But even then if the Yeshiva would have noticed early enough, they could have made a difference in those children’s lives as well.
Why are kids being taken for granted. Yes I am emotional about this because I worked with the At-Risk population and they are in pain. And if their families were not dysfunctional before they were thrown out from yeshiva they certainly became dysfunctional and broken afterwards. It effects more than just the child. When a Yeshiva throws even one child out, it effects the entire mishpacha, don’t kid yourselves it does. And anyone who has a hand in it, whether it is the moser, or the parents who the yeshiva say “want this” or the yeshiva administrations themselves, will have have to answer for the damage they caused.
These are serious issues, and no one should take it lightly. In this particular scenario, the Rosh if he had to, could have told the Bochur that he can not come to graduation but he can take all his tests and he will get his deserved grade and diploma. Who would have been hurt by that? Can anyone say that any other boy would have been influenced to the bad by such a consequence? Is not going to graduation not enough of a consequence? Is not partying with your class not enough of a consequence?
So yes I am emotional and I don’t think asking why they don’t cut out his tongue or poke his eyes out is any more ridiculous than shoving these kids off the derech. Or maybe you would prefer a public flogging?