Ok, smartcookie, I would only be able to tell that to someone I know, or someone who specifically told me about themselves and their child and what they are looking for. If the person they called me about is someone I know well and it was matim to them I would give them the answers appropriate to what they were looking for because it was shayach and the information that I knew was helpful to the shidduch. If I knew them personally or after they told me about themselves etc and the information I knew of the person they inquired about was not matim to them or there was a big issue with them that would be an appropriate shidduch for instance I know that the boy likes to drink or I know he slept around or I know the girl isn’t a virgin and that would not sit right with this family, i don’t necessarily want to say it outright but I can tell them the shidduch is not for them.
There are things that I know about kids that not everyone knows and I am just not willing to share such information. It is not for public knowledge. Kids do turn their lives around and it is up to them to tell their stories to their future spouses, not me. I am NOT a yenta and I want to see everyone succeed and have a bright future. Just because things were bleak in their pasts do not mean they will have to continue in the darkness for the rest of their lives.
So I do not have a problem telling someone the shidduch is NOT for them if I believe that there are things that I know about a person that the caller will not be able to look away from, but there is no need for them to know that information and spread it.
Look here is a true scenario for you, you tell me how you would handle this. A friend of my son spent part of his year in Israel in jail for selling drugs. He is now in Law school and I am sure will make a good shidduch one day. If I am called about information (because he practically lives in my house) am I obligated to “tell”? Should this mistake follow him the rest of his life? Is it shayach to his future marriage? Will it truly make a difference?