mewho: i think ur advice is excellent and everyone should really strive to do what you said. however, in real life, it’s not always so easy. we all slip up every now and then. and when you do, you shouldn’t be discouraged and feel like you failed. just make up your mind to try harder.
i would like to add a couple of things:
Admit when you’re wrong. your spouse will appreciate it. saying “i’m sorry” and meaning it is so important!
Try very hard not to argue in front of the kids! That’s a biggie! it’s so hard for kids to see parents arguing. little disagreements once in a while are ok – it all depends on how you handle it, though. they do have to learn that nobody can get along 24/7. but if they do see you disagree, they must also see the reconciliation. it teaches them how to get along and how to solve/handle certain issues. Again – if you slip up and they do see more of an argument – don’t despair! it’s ok to admit to them that it was wrong. and then of course try harder next time.
We are all human!
My husband and I have a “list of rules” which i printed a number of years ago. we each have a copy of it. it’s good to refer to it every now and then. it really works.
I am not at home right now, but IY”H later I will try to post what’s written on that list. A lot of it was already said by mewho.
Wishing everyone the Bracha of Shalom Bayis!