Gefen, good point…Its just NOT realistic to “Perform” like this 100% of the time! I hope y’all realize that when I told you all the above I definatley don’t do that every day! Its just a rarity unfortunately that the house is immaculate, and that its quiet, but the company service and smile with a coffee is pretty standard, unless I am harried from baking, dr’s appts and life! And it is exhausting btw, even without doing it each day!
BUt we like to sit together and have that 15 mins to just “Touch base” its soo important. But..but..one thing I must admit is that the conversation usually turns to me kvetching about the latest “disaster” or appliance that is not working right, or the overdrawn bank acct, and the shopping and life’s little headaches. BUT BUT I do notice that if I dont’ complain, (for no good reason, and especially not for the first 15 mins) and just keep up a happy up beat sort of encounter, it really makes his day.
However, there are times, when its legitamately needed to voice a complaint, and I have to say it. But not 24 hrs a day, and definately not when he comes home.
Listen, think of today’s men in modern day galus as the men of Mitzraim – minus the whips, at the end of the work day, they put down the slave work for a few hours to come home for respite, a bite to eat and see the wife and 100 babies (lol) and then its bedtime until the next day. Day after day struggling to make it all work, and they do suffer out there, but with bitachon and hope in their hearts, looking forward to those few minutes of respite in the home from the 6 days of hard labor in the week.
And of course waiting for Shabbos like a thirsty parched desert wanderer alongside waiting for the Geulah.
We can at least try to make them feel good in the home.
By the way, I am not going to deceitfully paint a picture of myself here that I am a perfect angel. I can be a real trouble maker with a yetzer hara, and hormones and a mouth at times, just like anyone. Don’t think I am not human!
So having painted the similarity between our men today and the men in the generation of Mitzrayim, let’s think how it would further weaken and break them psychologically and physcially and spiritually if at the end of each day the wife waited for him to return home, and he comes home only to hear ..” OY..the heat is too much, why can’t we live by the Nile- it would be cooler, I dont have food for the children, they are starving. Why can’t Hashem just get us out of this place already…oy..I am so tired of living like this…I hate my life…
Its debilitating and we have to have bitachon.