“Forget the hat. It’s only an external. Work on your midos, on your bein adam l’chavero (including kibud av v’eim), your kavanah in dovening, your learning and performing the mitzvos with joy.
Why does one have to be at the expense of the other? For many, the former enhances the others.”
Not for everyone. Especially for someone who may be at odds with his father over the issue.