eclipse – just to play devil’s advocate here. How a guy acts on a date should be judged separately from how he is judged regarding his approach to the shidduch process since the latter may be his reaction to the way the system is set up. When you are given a list of 20 names in 2 weeks while you are dating someone else and you are 22, it can be hard to not try and look for the best one at least on paper. I am not saying it’s right, but it is somewhat natural. Similar to the fact that it is improper to dump a girl after one date simply because she is 10 pounds heavier than your ideal. It is not right, but it is very hard to avoid that if you know there are 20 prettier girls around the corner. This is one of the reasons I think the mother should be dealing with the shidduchim and giving her son one name at a time.
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