When we stop worrying so much about what the neighbors will think and start worrying about what our own kids will think – then the problem will be half solved. If your kid wears a blue shirt – so what? If he doesn’t want to be the next Gadol haDor – so what? I’ve heard people say really hurtful things to their kids because they were embarrassed in front of the neighbors. Or the ultimate – “How will anybody in our family ever make a good shidduch?”
Care about your kids – they’re the ikar – not about the tofel that the neighbors gossip about.