Fascinating book by Ms Margolese. Heres some of an Amazon review (I darkened the few sentences I wanted to emphasize):
This is an important book. And the writer of the book is to be commended for choosing a subject which is of great importance to the Jewish community, and has not been previously treated ( so far as I know) in book form. Faranak Margolese spent five years preparing this book, interviewed several hundred people including many major Rabbis for the project. She studied the subject in depth and came to no easy and hasty conclusion.
One of her findings is that there is no single all- encompassing reason why observant Jews cease to be so. It can be the coolness of their own observant parents to religion, or the difficulty they have with teachers in school. It can come from their own sense of the religion’s simply ‘not working’ for them. There are many , many reasons. And the author is honest enough to say that she has no formula for any specific case.
Here it is important to note that this study is written by an observant person who is looking at the falling away from observance as something ‘negative’ In other words this book’s audience is the audience of observant Jews worried about what is happening to their community.
My own experience teaches me too that there are many reasons for falling away. One is simply the great amount of time and effort required to be religious when people are in frameworks ( for instance, university) where they may be pressed for time. I would too second one of the major points the author makes, the frequent insensitivity of religious people to the needs of their fellows. Even in the matter of ‘rebuking’ those fallen away, I have seen a neglect of Rambam’s advice to do this gently and with respect for the dignity of the person.
I believe one reason the author may not give enough emphasis too is the question of love of truth and intellectual integrity. Einstein left religious life simply because he came to believe its stories ‘not true’. I think that in present day Judaism there is a tremendous turning away, even on the part of the most leading and modern rabbis, from the intellectual challenges brought about by a world which scientifically and technically is changing at an accelerated pace.
In this regard I remember one session I attended in a certain well – known Yeshiva , which will go nameless here. A young student whose background was in the sciences asked a question about the religious view of the origin of the Universe. The teacher said to the young man, “Do you have a washing machine?” The young man did not know what to say. The teacher went on. “Well if you do, you know it comes with a manual, a set of rules which tells you how it works. Now” he said holding a Tannakh (Bible) this is our Instruction Manual. Read this, and you will know how the Universe works” The young student looked a bit perplexed, but the teacher was extremely satisfied with himself. My point is that not always are our teachers and educators at the level required to meet the intellectual challenges and questions presented by students.