I can’t know what was on Fetter Shmelka’s mind, but what I hope he meant (and I would agree, but not phrased the same way) is women who, by choice, turn their back on the needs of their children (so they can shop, go to tzedoko parties, pursue a carrear, even though $ is not the issue), they (and their partner husbands) have done their kids a huge dis-service.
Same applied to families who jet off to vacations all the time and leave the kids in the care of the nanny.
The single parent (regardless of gender) who is trying their best? We need to support and applaude them.
The parent (either half) who are “too busy” to tend to their kids? We need to condemn and ostracize them.
And before anyone jumps down my throat, yes, I know sets of both kind of parents.
And the kids are living proof of you get what you give.