patur- “Rav Reuven Feinsein shlita said that it is very important for women to say pesukei d’zimra” It’s not Rav Reuven Feinstein who said that, it’s a Rav Akivah Eiger. No one’s disputing that there’s an inyan for women to say pesukei dizimrah. All I’m saying is that the schools should be driving home the point that it is not by any means required, and that their chiyuv tefillah is satisfied just with shemone esrei.
shein- “There is no reason to rush a negative change a day earlier than absolutely necessary. (Hopefully it will never be necessary to change!)” You are living in dream land if you think that when this girl gets married, has children and a job she’ll be able to daven one hr shemonah esreis plus pesukai dizimrah and everything else. Let’s look at this from another angle. The Rambam holds a woman must only daven once a day, while the Ramban hold she must daven more (some say 2, some say 3). Most achronim, including the mishnah berrurah hold like the Ramaban. However, many women, unfortunately, daven only once a day. Now, if you have a girl who takes around an hr and 45 minutes to daven shachris, and she gets married and has all kinds of time constraints, do you think she is more likely to be one of the women who daven 2-3 times a day, or will she be one of the women who rationalizes davening only once a day? I know your gut reaction will be that if she appreciates davening so much, she’ll be the type to want to daven more. But i believe if you’re really honest with yourself you’ll agree that is not the case. Just from my own personal experience, I know of a few women that daven 3 times a day, and I would say their shachris takes abt 20 min, and mincha and maariv take about 5. ( not that that proves anything, obviously). In addition, the posters who expressed concern about a young girl davening an hr shemone esrei are correct, the chassidim harishonim took an hr to daven. Now assuming this girl is not on the level of the chassidim harishoim ( i know, im jumping to conclusions here) it’s a little bit much to daven for an hr.
sarah- I think the best advice given so far was from the mod who recommended you speak to a rav or rebbitzen about your predicament. Good luck.