oomis — Obviously someone not exposed to this sensitivity would not necessarily think of it on their own, as today’s society is very “informal”. But even you who have no “conditioning” say that when you hear someone speaking this way it sounds “formal”. That is EXACTLY the point! If you look at my previous post I said that the point it to “avoid too much informality” — using the exact description that you used. Now you may agree or disagree on whether that degree of formality is necessary, but there is no denying that it helps keep thing a bit more formal. And too much informality with a member of the opposite gender who is not related to you is generally not viewed as a positive thing in Judaism.
BTW my recent post addressed rocker who is not discussing the example you gave, of a person speaking about their own spouse but rather about someone speaking to their spouse ABOUT a different woman. To speak about your own spouse is a geder for the person you are speaking to (why should my friend think about my husband by his name?), but to speak about a member of the opposite gender using their name I believe is a more appropriate time to consider a sensitivity like this. If a man is talking about a different woman using a first name, that definitely leads to a more informal and friendly mindset towards her.