adorable: I read this thread for the first time now with tears in my eyes. I know exactly what you mean. I’m the type to beat myself up over and over again. I used to lay in bed wide awake, my heart thumping, my palms sweating and my mind racing with thoughts like, “did I REALLY do that? There’s no turning back now. It’s over. You’re a gonner.” Oh, those times were terrible.
Now, I learnt to deal with it right. (I’m a bit shaky while writing about it, but I think that’s okay..) I STILL want to feel REMORSEFUL. But I DON’T want to feel GUILTY. I daven everyday by “selach lanu” that Hashem should forgive me. I still feel terrible, but I learnt to move on and focus on the future and the present instead of crying over the past.
Much hatzlacha.