how can not being innocent be a good thing? i understand that the growth that you got from it could be good but how can that specific aspect be viewed as something good that happened to you?
I don’t think “innocence” is a Jewish concept. There are two types of tzaddikim: A tzaddik gamor and a ba’al teshuvah. A tzaddik gamor isn’t poiretz gedarim and oiver aveiros and a ba’al teshuvah is. Both have ma’alos and chesronos.
Don’t romanticize the problem as “losing your innocence”. Understand that you went from being a tzaddekes gemurah to a ba’alas teshuvah in one of the mitzvos or one of your middos. You lost certain ma’alos and you gained other ma’alos.
It’s on Hashem to decide whether He wants you to be an apple or an orange. He made His decision. Have bitachon that He made the right one.