I am really sorry for you-emotional pain is a very trying thing and you are usually so overwhelmed by the pain that it is hard to do anything to get out of the pain, leaving you in a bit of a vicious cycle. Although, nobody can really understand your pain because each person’s coping skills, emotional makeup, characteristics, and history make up their unique way of how they are affected by the pain, there are very good proven general methods of helping yourself deal with your situation. Don’t think that you are the only one suffering pain-so many people do. You must seek help. There are many books available, Rabbi Twersky has some excellent ones, some were mentioned here-The confidentiality here may allow you to open up a little more, if you could, in a general way, be a little more specific, people might share more targeted ideas that relate specifically to your situation.
Before you lost your mentor, did she explain what she felt you needed to do – did you follow her advice-perhaps you should think about that, and see if you can now follow any of her ideas.
Good Luck to you –