S2021
If she did Aveiros, and di Teshuvah on them good for her. Baruch Hashem, but that’s not the ideal. You are a hero that you fought the nisyonos and didn’t cave in. That makes you mighty. Baruch Hashem she was able to come back. Not everyone has that Mazel. Who knows if you would have been able to come back and do Teshuvah?
Either way, bottom line is she did Aveiros and did things against Hashems will, you should never wish that you could have done the same. It is a mistake to look at her current life and say, “look, you can do blank blank whatever, and then everything turns out alright.”
Everyones life has its own cheshbon. If you haven’t met your “Geshmake Kollel guy” yet that doesn’t mean he’s not going to come into your life in the very near future. Keep Davening and keep having Bitachon in Hashem. You should actually be thankful that Hashem gave you the strength and guided you on the right path so that you didn’t dirty your neshama. You have every reason to be proud of yourself and you should know tha overcoming Nisyonos is the purpose of life and the path to growth. I have no doubt that in the zchus of your overcoming your Nisyonos Hashem will have mercy on you and give you a zivug Hagun Bshaah Tovah Umitzlachas.