I agree in principle, but I think you also need to take a step back and realize that it is (unfortunately only) during times like this that Yiddin all band together as family regardless of ‘sibling rivalry’ and other disputes. While it is incredibly easy for people to be omed on everyone else’s bein odom l’makom, people have different challenges. In your long list of examples, you fail to all but mention one aspect of bein odom l’chaveiro (lashon horah).
While situations like this are incredibly difficult and I cannot even imagine how a Father could inflict this degree of pain on his children, the only things that can possibly be said is that the rest of the Jewish family becomes stronger in face of adversity. It is wonderful gather an asifah and address lack of tznius affecting every negative consequence that occurs in the places that are realistically speaking the most tznius places in the world (boro park, lakewood, etc). Perhaps the glaring lack of achdus among those who are supposed to be closest to G-d should be the first place to look – as it seems that that may be what Hashem wants.
Next time you see someone from Young Israel walking with a baby stroller on Shobbas, try saying Good Shobbas with a smile instead of Good Yom Tov. This will also foster more good will toward everything that you are trying to represent rather than a sentiment that people are all form over substance being frim at the expense of religion.