Happiest, at risk of sounding repetitive, I will give you my advice. Everyone discovers at one point or another that life doesn’t seem “fair.” I’m sure you can think of plenty of examples of “injustices.”
But that’s why we were put in this world. To see Hashem’s hashgacha from behind the gloomy clouds. If that was an easy feat, then we would all be malachim. This is a NORMAL struggle that people have to deal with time and time again.
Now when it’s harder for you, even a davening with less kavanah than norm, will be rubies and diamonds before Hashem! Every step you take to overcome your overwhelming feelings and work on yourself, will bring you closer to Hashem. It will be hard, but from what I see of you (from my limitted cr experience), I know you will do us proud 🙂