Feel bad having a good time

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  • #597959
    happiest
    Member

    The entire day I’ve felt bad laughing or having a good time or posting things on facebook (yes, I know. It is assur) that were funny. When will I start feeling better again?

    On another note and I probably will be stoned for saying this but I’ll say it anyway.

    I’m having a hard time taking extra things upon myself or even davening right now because of all the anger that I feel towards GD right now. I just can’t understand how He could have taken away a 9 yo boy from his family like this… an innocent boy. He must of been so scared. How could He have done that?!?!

    #786007
    emlf
    Member

    Happiest and everyone else,

    Yes, it is VERY VERY VERY painful. I’m usually not very emotional, and the whole day I’ve been thinking about it.

    Now – please take my words properly. These points are a composition of ideas I’ve learned over the years, as well as being based on ideas that I saw today in a letter which Rav Dovid Sitnick shlit”a sent to the parent body of his school. Please understand that not every idea presented below is based on that letter.

    The questions is, are you asking because you want an answer, or is the question an answer in itself?

    We don’t understand. We simply do not. HaShem has His cheshbonos, which we simply do not have the capability to comprehend. If we could understand HaShem, we would be Him. And that’s impossible.

    We don’t know what Leiby z”l was in a previous gilgul, what tikun he had to attain.

    We don’t know. A father has to let his son get a shot, even though it hurts, since it’s for the good of child. This terrible tzora was and is a BIG shot. Somehow, it’s for our good.

    We say Boruch Dayan HaEmes. What does it mean? We acknowledge that HaShem is the True Judge. HaShem knows each and every detail. Every single aspect of the tzora has been calculated down to the minutest detail.

    For example: there are missing children who have been missing for YEARS, so much so that they have to do age progression to the photos. Here, Leiby was found within 48 hours. It could have dragged out MUCH longer – but HaShem didn’t want anyone involved to have to go through that additional difficulty. And on the other side, it was very warm yesterday – that was also part of cheshbonos HaShem. Maybe more sechar for those who went looking? I don’t know.

    I’m not saying that I’m as strong as I should be in faith, but we have to try.

    I hope that this has helped to some extent. May we hear only besuros tovos.

    #786008
    WIY
    Member

    happiest

    “I’m having a hard time taking extra things upon myself or even davening right now because of all the anger that I feel towards GD right now. I just can’t understand how He could have taken away a 9 yo boy from his family like this… an innocent boy. He must of been so scared. How could He have done that?!?!”

    What makes you think you or anyone else for that matter is even remotely capable of understanding Hashem’s ways?

    Hashems wisdom is so far beyond a humans that to compare it is ludicrous. He created this world and all it contains and manages it constantly. Try to fathom that He knows the thoughts of every human being, imagine knowing all the thoughts every last one of every second of every day of 10 people at once, now imagine 100, now a 1000…there are approximately 6.5 BILLION people on earth and He knows all of their thoughts, which means at the bare minimum He has more brain power than 6.5 Billion people COMBINED!!! Hashems IQ is infinite.

    Our puny minds are so so so so so so far to the infinite power from comprehending G-ds thoughts that we have no place doubting Him. We must live with the knowledge that there are some things we just cant know or understand and never will understand.

    #786009
    emlf
    Member

    There are a few things you should know:

    1. The person who did this terrible thing was caught and is not on the street.

    2. This is something horrible that most of us, even adults, have never heard before in our lifetimes. We all hope never to hear such a thing again.

    3. Leiby ?”? has no pain now. He has a ???? that lives forever, and is going to ??

    ??? very clean, and he will have a very special place there in ?? ??? .

    May we never hear of such ???? anymore, and may we soon greet Moshiach Tzidkainu.”


    This is almost the entire text of the letter which Rav Sitnick sent out and which someone was kind enough to send to me. It speaks for itself.

    #786010
    rosesharon
    Member

    Why would you think that you would be stoned? Its perfectly normal to feel a sense of anger or resentment. As a mommy,I also feel dumbfounded and in shock at the tragedy. Take some time for yourself and don’t feel guilty. If you do want to take something upon yourself, start small. Take your time to increase what you want to do extra to counteract the horrible actions of one sick person who acted with free will, not those of a caring G-d.

    #786011
    yolk
    Member

    i feel as if moshiach is never coming- we wai and wait and wait and especially afer this tragedy i’m expecting it to come.. but yet its not here…. and i begin to think that maybe it x come if its not coming now

    does anyone have chizuk for me? i would greatly appreciate it

    #786012
    kapusta
    Participant

    Medicine doesn’t always taste good. For some reason, it needed to happen and it needed to happen specifically in the way it did. Don’t think for one minute that even one Tefilla wasn’t answered. It was. Maybe not in the way we wanted, but every single Tefilla was put to a different use. Clearly a better use.

    May the tremendous Zchusim of the Chessed and Achdus, combined with the massive kapara that this no doubt brought be what puts everything over the top to bring Mashiach now.

    Imo Anochi B’tzarah.

    It happened for our good.

    *kapusta*

    #786014
    thinkingclearly
    Participant

    When a child receives a vaccination all he feels is pain. He does not realize this is something that will help for years to come. Yet despite his anger and hurt he turns towards his parent (the one who forcibly held him down)for comfort. Even a child knows a parent will not do random harm. Here too we don’t understand Hashem’s way but he is out tatte and he won’t do any random harm. I hope this explains it well. Chazak Ubaruch.

    #786015
    me too
    Member

    R’ Nachman Kletzki’s parting words those who understand Yiddish dial Kol Mevasser 718 6891100 1 1 4

    for those who do not here is a brief paraphrasing

    ? ??? We are in pain because Hashem took

    but we realize that ? ??? he gave us the Zchus of having this holy neshama for almost 9 years and for that wee say ??? ?? ?’ ????? Leibi pray for us your and your NEW family Klal Yisroel

    #786016
    chalilavchas
    Member

    I cant believe how the above posts sound so much like the thoughts that Ive had since experiencing devastating family circumstances lately. Sometimes I feel Hashem chooses some people to undergo terrible torture so that others can have a sense of relief that they arent in the sufferers’ shoes and it’s a test from above for others to see whether they’ll choose to help or to mock and speak Lashon Hara.

    #786017
    shev143
    Member

    Happiest, stop thinking so much, you’ll drive yourself to depression. Pop a beer, and hit up facebook!

    #786018
    WIY
    Member

    Shev143

    Because facebook and alcohol don’t lead to depression?! What moronic advice….

    #786019
    alive and well
    Participant

    happiest most ppl who suffer big either pray all the time or are unable to pray.if you are shook up thats so normal that you can’t pray

    #786020
    a mamin
    Participant

    Shev:: Very bad idea!! Is that what you learnt from this terrible tragedy???!!!

    #786021
    bpt
    Participant

    We have all experienced this to some degree or another at one point in our lives. I took a scaled back day yesterday as well, considering the enormity of what happened.

    But like all of life’s hurdles, we get pst them and move forward. I can’t speak of Lieby, but if it were me, here’s what I would hope to see happen:

    For the first few days, mourn. After all, a life was lost.

    Then, over the next few days take a good look inside you and see what areas in your personal life need some fine tuning.

    And finally, take a really good look at how the accident or situation came to be, and take whatever steps you can to be sure it does not repeat itself. In my case, it was the death of a teen in a car accident. After we got ourselves back on our feet, we instituted rules in our house to make sure to the extent possible, we avoid getting in a situation like that ever again. And no, they were not popular rules, but I and Mrs stood firm. Why? So that the loss of life was not for nothing.

    But to just move on like nothing happened? That would be an even bigger tragedy.

    #786022
    Another name
    Participant

    Happiest, at risk of sounding repetitive, I will give you my advice. Everyone discovers at one point or another that life doesn’t seem “fair.” I’m sure you can think of plenty of examples of “injustices.”

    But that’s why we were put in this world. To see Hashem’s hashgacha from behind the gloomy clouds. If that was an easy feat, then we would all be malachim. This is a NORMAL struggle that people have to deal with time and time again.

    Now when it’s harder for you, even a davening with less kavanah than norm, will be rubies and diamonds before Hashem! Every step you take to overcome your overwhelming feelings and work on yourself, will bring you closer to Hashem. It will be hard, but from what I see of you (from my limitted cr experience), I know you will do us proud 🙂

    #786023
    seedys
    Participant

    happiest- I understand your feelings. As I walked down 16th Avenue in Boro Park to work today- I was thinking and wondering- how people can walk the streets- do their shopping- talking and smiling. I figured everyone should look shocked and sad. It is difficult for me to smile today. I keep imagining Leiby’s a”h-last moments alive- what was done to his body after he died. We will never know the truth about what happened from the time Leiby a”h got into the murderer’s car until he was killed. Leiby a”h took his story to his grave.

    I am crying as I write this- knowing that Leiby a”h was killed just a few blocks from where I live- and I didn’t know and couldn’t help him.

    We will all get over this horror somehow- very soon. We all know that Hashem runs this world and He knows and knew what He let happen – and sweet Leiby a”h needed to leave this world- and we cannot know why Hashem made him leave this world in such a horrible way.

    I will try to imagine Leiby a”h- sitting with Hashem- and enjoying. Hashem should help his parents, siblings,relatives, acqaintances & friends, to be comforted and feel safe and happy.

    Leiby a”h will never be forgotten.

    #786024
    deiyezooger
    Member

    A gadol who merited long life was once asked what special zechus he had, and he answered that sometimes people question G-d why bad things happen, so Hashem’s response is “come up and you will see the whole picture”. But I trust Hashem so there is no need to call me up and explain things to me.

    #786025
    shev143
    Member

    WIV, you sound like you need a beer.

    #786026
    shev143
    Member

    or maybe not, are you the type to turn alcoholic from beer?

    #786027
    shev143
    Member

    a mamim, one thing that is very clear what we can learn from this tragedy, is that Mr. Aron was a very depressed individual,so if Facebook keeps you happy, it sure wont kill you or anyone , do it.

    #786028
    emlf
    Member

    In a sense – in a sense! – it’s a good sign that you find it hard to daven. I know it sounds nutty. But it shows that you recognize that the same HaShem Who decreed that Leiby a”h should be killed is the same HaShem Whom we daven to, the same HaShem Who runs every aspect of the world. It shows that you don’t approach davening as a meaningless ritual.

    that being said, we still must daven.

    Gut Shabbos to all.

    #786029
    a mamin
    Participant

    Shev: Chas veshalom!!! I would never turn to that to make me feel good!! Its just not my idea of enjoyment in life!

    #786030
    WIY
    Member

    shev143

    No I dont need alcohol to make me happy Baruch hashem, and as for facebook, it has ruined lives, destroyed marriages, lost people jobs, lost people friends, and caused people to kill and commit suicide. But you go ahead using it as long as it makes you happy…

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