There’s a widespread misconception about what “kibbud av va’em” means. It means you must respect your parents. It does NOT mean you have to run your life the way they want you to. You are under no obligation to listen to them if they tell to marry X or follow Rav Y. However, even when making divergent choices, you still must accord them the proper respect. Even if they ask you to do an aveira (in which case you are FORBIDDEN to do as they say), you still have to act respectfully.
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