mommamia, your story is horrible and tragic! You must be enduring so much pain! Does your husband realize how bothered (that’s putting it lightly) that you are? If he does and is willing to change their might be a bit of hope. That would be a long and difficult (but hopefully worthwhile) journey for the two of you.
If he won’t come to his senses and seek help, then it is you that must seek help from another Rav to take care of yourself before it gets any worse…