IUseBrains-
It looks like you missed the reply I left you for in a different thread click =>>here<<= for that.
I disagree with you on your opinion- look at it from the guys side. When I was dating I was in yeshiva full time plus I had a part time job and was in college at night. I didn’t have time to research every name that a shadchan picked out of a hat. Additionaly, as you are well aware from being a shadchan, the references that the family provide are the friends who are going to say what the girl/ family want them to say.
My mother, on the other hand, worked half a day and was able to spend the whole afternoon on the phone with shadchanim (while cooking supper, folding laundry, running on the treadmill and doing other housework). My mother also had a larger network when it came to doing research (people that told the truth) as I had a couple of siblings in shidduchim at the same time.
Keep in mind that I was probably getting about ten names a week, and to me a name was just a … name. If there are so many names coming up- doesn’t it make sense to let my mother filter them out and pick from the list of the ones that she also approves of? Why should I bring a girl home that my mother doesn’t approve- would it be fair to the girl to start off her marriage and have a mother-in-law that doesn’t approve of her?