trim,
It sounds like your from the “instant potatoes” generation. If everybody would get divorced over a nagging wife, there would be no married men left in the world!
Men are different than women, that’s a fact of life. Try listening to her, see how that works. Try sending her to work (or whatever you do) for 1 week and you stay home with the kids, I guarantee, you will have a greater appreciation for her, and all of a sudden her nagging will sound to you more like, “I’m so happy your home, I didn’t see a whole day!”
All of the above, is not to say that your needs don’t count, but you need to think of ways to take care of yourself. For example, I can’t stand coming home from work on Friday, the end of a long week, and suddenly being told, “We need this done, that thing fixed, and please kill the cockroach in the girls room.” I need a bit of space to transfer between work & home. Do you know what I started doing? I started taking care of myself. Every Friday, without fail, I stop off at some local takeout place or some bakery on the way home from work, I pull over somewhere and sit in my car for 10 minutes with a coffee & a danish or a cholent and a soda, and I completely zone out. I walk into the house on Friday with a big smile on my face, ready to tackle anything.
Please take care of yourself and try to see the world through your dear wife’s eyes, and I think you’ll start being happy.