adam- I am really sorry for you and it hurt me to read your post. I think the first step (i know everyone mentioned it-i guess its really important) is to get a rav or a mentor of some sort. someone older and wiser than you who can see the whole picture and guide you out of this horrible “maze”. I will tell you that the book A garden of emunah is a wonderful start too. Kids in public school should not be an issue for you- as you said you never had issues with them- count your blessings!!!!!
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