Maybe it’s because I have not been dating for over a year yet, and am not at all burnt out,I always wondered why singles have such a hard time with it. I really don’t mean to be caustic or insensitive, but don’t frum Jews believe in a Hashem Who has a plan and knows exactly what each of His children need?
I understand that the process is hard- I’ve begun it, and rejection, decisions, waiting for a date, and getting close to a potential mazel tov which then dissipates, are all trying and emotionally draining, but I truly feel that I have grown substantially from every encounter. Every date teaches me more about what I stand for, and each experience lends me insight about who I really am.
Example: I had been dating a boy seriously for a while, and there was a mutualy interest from both sides. Until it slowly hit me that he was not interested in learning at all. As in, couldn’t commit to be koveia itim. As a girl who has anticipated marrying a young man with fire for learning all my life, this was extremely difficult decision for me to make. I ended up ending the relationship although i still believe he is a top boy in every other arena (and even had learnt in bais medrash post high-school for a substantial amount of time).
My father said to me “You know, we always speak about making sacrifices for Torah, and it’s become almost a frum-cliche. But this action really drove it in- what values you will never give up”.
Last week I read something interesting in the Readers Write section of the Yated newspaper-
It was a boy writing in about getting married in, i think his late thirties. He spoke about a boy (I’m not sure if he was referring to himself or to a friend) who got married at a considerably older age, to a girl much his junior. His rebbe remarked “for 10-plus years you could not get married- because your zivug would have been 9 or 10 at the time! Hashem has a plan for every one of us.”
May we all be zoche to be led to our zivug at the right time