Cutie- it’s true about not blowing out candles, because a Neshama is like a candle and you don’t want to blow the “Neshama” out.
Charlie- your post is very misleading. You, can make the Bracha before lighting because you’re a man. Men are mekabel Shabbos at Shekiah, and not when they Tzind Lecht.
However, women are mekabel Shabbos when the say the Bracha. Therefore they must light candles before reciting the Bracha. Once the Bracha is said, it’s Shabbos!
Most people light the candles, put off the match, and then say the Bracha.