“do you think its fair for the head counselor to pool all the tips and then dole it out as she sees fit?”
No! Especially because in the good old days, I was always the hard working counselor, so that technique would have caused me to lose out on money. It does make sense to do that for specialties, since the parents don’t know each specialty head personally.
“How would the counselor or waiter know the camper couldn’t afford the full tip?”
Obviously, try to judge the parents favorably. I know of parents who couldn’t afford to tip but they made the effort and sent a homemade gift or thank you note. Sometimes it is the thought that counts.