No, It is NOT ok to be friends witht he opposite gender.
Im saying this from a “yeshivish” BY point of veiw, the “modern” accepted way, and even shidduchim scene wise- it DOES not make it ok- I have many friends that do hang/are friends (“plutonic”) with the other gender and it NEVER ends well- and is not something I would condone.
Im not here to tell anyone what to do but thats my strong opinion.
Last year I was a shiur counselor in a more “open-minded” girls camp where the girls did hang out with guys and honestly did not know much of the halachot of shomer negia/yichud etc…but there was a mashal I told them that can VERY much be applicable here.
Your in a the park, and you want to go on the water ride. So, you go up to the top and your going down the slide but in your head you decided- im just going on the ride but im not going to fall into the big pool at the end of the ride. So, what do you do- how do you stop yourself while your sliding downstream?
So the girls gave answers-
“you hold on to the side of the slide and try to get yourself up and off the ride”
so I asked them “What are the chances of you not making it to the top and falling down into the water?”
they answered “theres a 98% chance you will fall in.”
So I explained- you want to go out with boys- its fun, you have a great time- just like the water ride..but you say to yourself; dont worry- im going to be careful I’m not going to do things I shouldnt (ex: not being shomer) and I’ll be ok; were just friends.
But the chances of that happening are usually 98%! 98%- and are you willing to take that chance- that 2% chance of doing something you could have avoided all togteher…and so on…Even in our “big” mature adult world- WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL and we have to set gedarim; it doesnt mean you cant say “hello” “good-Bye” and be menshlach- but it doesnt mean you have to be friends either- Is it really a risk worth taking?