yeshivabochur, i hear what you are saying, but first of all, you can’t just have one income, the husband’s, and then say, now the wife doesn’t have to worry about a thing. one income is just not enough these days (sometimes, even two isn’t enough!) now, yes, there are exceptions to this rule, like the very wealthy ppl,or the young couples being supported by their parents (which is a whole different discussion) but you know, i don’t think young couples (not being supported by parents) are part of this exception. i can hear that one income is enough until you have kids.(that is ultimately what I want) but once the kids come, and hopefully, there will be at least a few, you really need the money, and these days, you need both the income of the husband, and that of the wife.
also, what you said about bochurim who are not cut out to be the next roshei yeshiva- i don’t agree. yes, if the bochur is mamash just sitting there and warming benches, and he really doesn’t want to be there, but he is doing it because that’s the thing to do, and it’s the “only way to get a good shidduch”, then he should go to work. but if someone is sincerely sitting and learning, and it means the world to him to be engaged in learning the precious words of the Torah, just because you don’t think he will become the next rosh yeshiva (and how are you supposed to be able to judge that anyway?)why would you rip him away from it? he is not wasting his time! and how do you know he won’t be the next rosh yeshiva? it doesn’t happen overnight! all big roshei yeshiva had to start somewhere. if they would have gone by your advice, we would be minus many of the great gedolim and roshei yeshiva we have today!
now, i think it would work, and make all sides happy, if: boy wants to learn. girl wants husband to learn, at least until they have kids. girl works. boy learns. they have a kid. boy works and definitely sets aside as much time as possible to learn, and keeps aside time, to assist wife in housekeeping and helping take care of kid. girl works (and it is possible to get a job that you can do from home, or you can find a job that only requires you to work half day- and don’t say that it’s not realistic, because i know so many wives who are doing either of these two options) once the kids get older and are all in school, if wife is working out of the house, she can lengthen her working hours, if desired, or if needed. there! now everyone is happy!