oomis1105 -“All those qualities contained in me, of course, reflect a top, top shvigger.”
Ok, I’m still waiting. “
There are too many things to list here, with love and support in a non-judgmental way, heading the list. My son-in-law appreciates all the help I have given them in child care for the last three years, the love and devotion that we give to him personally, my respect for him both as my son-in-law and as a person, the way I interact with his parents and siblings, etc. Likewise, his parents love my daughter, and I appreciate that.
My daughter-in-law knows she can call me any time of the day or night (and she has), if she has a question or a problem, something she is worried about. She respects and values my opinion, and will call me to schmooze, if she needs another sounding board. Typically, you see that only with one’s own mother, but my DIL trusts me, and even when we see things differently, she knows she can come to me,even with personal issues. She knows she is loved, and when she gave birth to my beautiful grandsons, the first thing I said to her was thank you from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful matanos she gave us.
The bottom line, I learned from observing my own mother how to be a truly wonderful shvigger. My husband cried when she was nifteres, saying to her that she was a mother to him, not a MIL. His own mother, who was ill for all of the time that I knew her, was nonetheless very loving and wonderful to me, and in turn, I was a devoted DIL to her. The best way to be a good shvigger is to show your kids that you are a good in-law child, as well.
Aside… I do hope you get that I was kidding around when I said top, top shvigger. I try to be, but we all make mistakes. The best thing is to let the kids live their lives; we already HAD our shot.