Reply To: He has a past, and she doesnt know. Or the other way around.

Yes shlishi, I challenge minhagim. This particular one is common, but not universal, and bizmanenu, rl’zn, if it can be a cause of someone’s public shaming, we should let it go, lo plug. Kiddushin has to be with a minyan, thats all the “public record” required. You need not agree wih me.