Reply To: can i date a girl without Shadchan????????/

I’m to tired to read any of your recent post’s ( I will read them within the next few days) however I just want to say what I heard from another Rabbi today on Shadchanim.

He said a reason we have Shadchanim nowadays is because we need a ‘middle man’ to research the other partners Chesorons (flaws), as nowadays people behave more ‘external’ to each other, the ‘internals’ are seen by a Shadchan, who can make inquiries. For example businessmen use ‘middle men to research different properties.

This is the reason many people (who don’t use Shadchans) go on many dates nowadays and none of them work out, if only they would use a Shadchan who would find out about both parties (and see if they are compatible) and then the match would work.

The Rabbi I spoke to said there is a main reason why Shadchans should be used nowadays which he saw in Seforim, he cannot recounts where and what, he will get back to me and quote me the reason these Sefroim give.

This Rabbi was Chassidish and said all Chassidim nowadays use Shadchans.