Sam2 my agenda now is to make you all use Shadchanim
One of your mistakes, is that almost everyone on the forum dates exclusively through shadchanim anyway. And the ones who don’t still aren’t meeting girls in clubs, bars, and wherever else you suggested.
But, you are still incorrect. It is not assur to date someone without a shadchan (an issur which would defy definition anyway). It simply isn’t.
Of course any rav you asked told you it is better to try to date with a shadchan. That doesn’t mean it is assur.
Certain behaviors, like trolling for girls in bars and clubs, are certainly inappropriate- even if not definably assur. But if you happen to meet a girl in an appropriate setting (say you are sitting next to each other on a plane from Israel and there was no other choice), it is hard to see anything wrong about dating her.