Looking back, I say we need to start from the ground up – our high schools. When I was in 12th grade the big Question was Kollel vs College – what do you want your chosson to be doing. They kind of forgot about the important part here. What do YOU as a human being want to do. It is not self centered or against halacha or hashkafa for a Bais Yaakov girl to consider her own wants, needs, and career options as well as the “career” options of a potential shidduch. Paper vs plastic is old hat and stam shtus. I do believe (as I have said here before) that a woman’s avoda is her husband, children and home, but she is still a person who, more often than not, does need a job outside the home. Would it be so terrible if our girls were raised to believe in themselves as women unto themselves?
I tell most of the yeshiva bachurim whom I cross paths with that older girls (22+) are definitely a better option than a clueless, brainwashed 19 year old with no real hadrachah of her own. Learn for a couple of extra years, maybe even complete a college degree (or come close). And then when YOU have hadrachah of your own, you will find a girl close in age who has also matured enough to know what she wants out of life, and what HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants from her.