Reply To: OOT vs. NY

Thanks for all the responses :). Sorry if I offended anyone with the term “OOT.” It’s just what I hear everyone refer to places outside NY.

Responding to some posters:

bein_hasdorim, LOL. How true!

coffee addict, thanks! That’s a great example.

gefen, I’m not really sure. It’s possible the way I feel has nothing to do with living in NY. So I’ll give some examples, though I’m not sure they portray exactly how I feel:

A) I don’t like conforming. If I do something different than what’s considered the norm, I get the looks, the judging eyes, the “Ummm. Okay.” For those who’ve known me since I was a kid, they know that I am the way I am. But for those who don’t, I always get those looks. And just in general, people always do whatever everyone else does, even if they don’t agree. People drive themselves nuts doing what’s “normal” just so they won’t look bad and ruin their futures. Like taking a break said in her thread http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/its-all-about-shidduchim , every little decision is weighed on what people are SUPPOSED to do rather what they WANT to do. I’m not talking about halacha, of course, since that’s nonnegotiable, but just behavior in general.

B) I’m not a serious person. I like comfortable, so I’d rather come to work looking more comfortable and less “fancy” (but put together, of course). Same with a wedding. I’d rather not have to dress up so much, but of course my mom would have a heart attack if I showed up not looking my best. I’d like to leave the house dressed as I want to be and not have to constantly wonder if the person across the street is staring at me because I’m dressed more casual. I care so much more about personality rather than looks.

C) The whole people watching you like a hawk. Every time I leave the house I always look across the street to see if the neighbor on the porch is watching me. If she is…grrr, I have to act a certain way or else she’ll call my mom. If she’s not…breathe.

G) Do non NYers also categorize themselves? Like Yeshivish, (chasidish is chasidish), Litvish, MO, blah blah, I don’t even know the categories. I have no idea which I belong to. I call myself “undeclared.”

H) Please don’t throw rocks at me (stuffed animals will do just fine :)), but I feel like men in NY are a little offensive to women. This might just be me being exposed to the wrong type of people.

I hope I’m not blowing things out of proportion! It’s possible, like I said earlier, that this has nothing to do with living in NY or not. It may just be a “people” thing, which is a whole other discussion. Mostly, I just want to be myself, however “strange” that might be, and not have to feel scared/nervous/ashamed of what others think of me.

The Goq, hm…it’s possible I might want to run from a few things, too.

MiddlePath, that’s pretty cool about the cars waiting until the woman woke up. Thanks for the examples 🙂

cinderella, I don’t understand the name on the cup thing.

Sorry for the long post! It probably makes no sense, but I tried…