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Can someone please explain the difference in mentality between someone from out of town to someone from the NY area? Examples of what one would/wouldn’t do vs. what another would/wouldn’t do is appreciated. Thanks.
New York is saturated with many of the ultra frum.
We are all Hashem’s children people from different places may appear different but we are all part of one people lets find the things that unite as rather than divide us, As for me born oot but i’ve been her a dozen years and consider myself a New Yorker now and i wouldn’t go back.
its one of those things if you have to ask…..
Why wouldn’t you go back OOT, The Goq?
An out of towner, after being aware that the light turned green,
would give the car ahead of them at least 20 seconds before politely tapping their horn,
as opposed to a New Yorker who would blast a full “Tekiah Gedolah” as soon the light turned green, having counted down the seconds till blast off themselves. 🙂
I find oot people to be more relaxed and not on edge.People from New York are always on the move.That being said,everyone is different and no generalization can be made(just from my experience).
Queen Bee~ I’m curious about your curiousity.. where are YOU from?
(I see you answered my question in the meanwhilst).
I have a perfect example!
My wife and I went to a vort in miami beach and my wife was suprised that no one was wearing fancy clothing
Before my wife and I setted in florida she thought she had to go everywhere with her sheitel on, little did she realize that no one wears sheitels, only tichels (except on very special occasions)
You do realize of course that anyone OOT, meaning out of NY, refers to the rest of us as OOTers. NY is not necessarily THE town. Chicago is a big town and so is California, not to mention parts of Canada and of course Israel. So OOT depends on what perspective you are looking at.
Maybe the question should be NY’ers vs NON-NY’ers.
shmoel – you don’t think there are ultra frum anywhere else? here in chicago we actually do see some shtreimels and even veisa zoken. I’ll admit it’s not like ny but we do have it.
i must also admit that being a new yorker myself, i never thought there were frum communities oot. in fact in camp and seminary when a girl said she was from “place x” we would always be surprised and ask “wow – they really have frum ppl in that city?” even so, we couldn’t imagine they knew as much about frumkeit as we did. how naive we were!
i also never thought i would live anywhere else but ny. but like they say “never say never”.
bein hasdorim – i like ur example about the green light. unfortunately though, i’ve been seeing more and more impatient honking here than i used to. i think the ny mentality has reached here 😉
queen bee – i’m not sure where i fit in either. in fact just recently we were discussing the possibility of moving back east. why don’t u feel u don’t fit in ny? what are u looking for? maybe if you give us an idea, someone here on the cr might have some suggestions.
Shmoel its not that i didnt like my hometown i did but i was running away from something and i couldnt stay there.
I can’t generalize, but here’s some interesting stories. First of all, I have lived all my life well out of NY, so I would consider myself quite an “out of towner”. And even so, I went to a high school that was even more “out of town” than what I was used to, and I saw some things that surprised me. One example was actually something similar to what someone brought up already, but it happened on a more extreme level: A woman sitting by a red light actually dozed off and the light turned green and then red again before she woke up, and the cars behind her just waited patiently till she woke up! Another example was when I was in a supermarket there, and the people walking by kept saying to me “good afternoon!” And they said it to everyone! I actually found it really nice. Everyone greeted everyone else.
question for all the brooklyners out there- is s/o who does not live in brooklyn but does live in ny and not in like buffalo or like rochester but like 5 towns considered OOT? cuz i was talking to s/o from brkln and she was like- oh ur such an out of towner and i was like huh??? also it’s annoying when ppl refer to brkln as the city. MANHATTAN is the “city”, people. living in boro park doesnt mean u live in the city. Sorry, it just irks me.
also, funny story- i was with s/o from baltimore (which is def out of town) and we were in starbucks and after she ordered the coffee guy asked her name to write on the cup and she was so horrified and she refused to give her name till i explained to her…
I grew up in the midwest and currently live in Flatbush. I have to say that I think the difference between the two is over rated. There are nice people, fast people, slow people and patient and impatient people in both places. As a general rule though the east coast is slightly more competitive than oot. I think the biggest difference I found in the two places is that oot the schools are much more of a mix so the yeshivish kids are exposed to less yeshivish kids and visa versa. Being that the kids grow up more exposed to all jews they come out more open minded and less in a bubble of their “type”
Collegegrad,
Don’t generalize the whole east coast from ny
queen bee- thts cuz ur prob from out of town
idk maybe i’m the only one who gets it 🙂
cindy, I get it.
IME, OOT is more laid back than in town.
QB-
A few comments:
1. I could have written what you wrote under “B” myself. For weddings I like to dress a little “under” what everyone else might be doing. I’m guessing you’re also one of those with a good supply of long skirts (as opposed to short) and sweaters.
2. (E) I don’t think its a MO thing but today everyone loves labels. If you do ______ you’re obviously such and such. I think its just that someone with (I don’t want to put anyone down) ___ Hashkafos may take issue with movies, books etc (in and out of NY) and somehow people who don’t fit that mold are called MO. I think the group in between MO and Yeshivish somehow melted into the other two groups.
3. (G) From what I’ve seen, OOT there may also be the same “groups” but the borders are flexible.
4. (H) Sounds like a regular NY/everyone in a rush kind of thing.
Hows that for rambling?
The issue to me isn’t New York vs every place else. It’s is more of a large community vs small community issue. To me, there is very little difference (besides accents) between the large Jewish communities in NYC, Chicago, LA or Miami. All of those places have large enough Jewish populations to have developed separate communities of Jews, chareidi, MO, chassidic, etc.
Compare that to the Jewish communities in, say, Birmingham Alabama or Omaha Nebraska. There, the most striking difference from big city communities is the fellow feeling that the entire community has for each other. the various denominations of Judaism come together and cooperate in ways that would be unthinkable in places like Flatbush or Skokie. For instance, you will see the local Lakewood kolel receiving support from Federation. Try that in BP!, Heck, try that in Lakewood.
Queen Bee, in regard to your post which lists many reasons you feel ‘out of place’, I feel exactly the same way about A, D, E, and I.
I loved the community where I went for high school. It is really tiny (Maybe 40 Jewish families), and even though they are very diverse, they all consider themselves one group, all daven at one shul, all invite each other to their simchas, all get along beautifully. Some wear black hats, some wear jeans, some wear white shirts, some have never worn a white shirt in their lives, some women wear shaitels, some women don’t cover their hair. And none of them consider themselves “better” than someone else. No one is “yeshivish”, “MO”, or any other worthless label. Everyone is simply “Jewish”. That’s the type of community I want to live in, because I, like you, don’t like conforming, have very different views about many things, and I also feel like I don’t really belong in the CR. I know I’ve offended people here when discussing my views on certain things. So I guess it’s not really because you live in New York that you feel this way. It is probably more of a personality and values thing.
love out of towners. they are so chilled and so not judgemental. i was walking down the street on shabbos once when I was OOT, and so many women stopped to ask me if im new to the neighborhood!
queen bee- my friend thought the coffee guy wanted her name cuz he thought she was cute and wanted her number…to ask her out… get it???
NY is always in a rush. always double parked. and get the heck out of my way. oot isnt.
OOT is lifeless.
I see you haven’t been to miami beach (even when the snowbirds aren’t there people act like its their road)
Queen Bee, yeah, we do feel the same about pretty much all the bullet points you mentioned. And about living in a small community, your concerns are definitely valid. But chances are there won’t be as many people you would want to avoid, anyway…And about the concern of people being in your business, that may depend on your outlook about it. You’ll definitely have your privacy, but yes, people will generally be more concerned about you and involve you more in their own lives, and probably expect you to involve them a little in yours.
Concerning a situation like mine, I don’t think that is unique to an “out of town” community necessarily, but rather to the particular situation I was in. I think the problem for me was that I didn’t receive enough care and support, and in a smaller community, chances are there would have been more care and support.
And yeah, I also feel like I stand out in a crowd. But that’s just how I am. When I was in bais medrash, I would be the only one in my shiur wearing a colored shirt, let alone an ORANGE or GREEN shirt. I actually don’t like blending in.
About the CR, what you said is actually why I think it’s a great place for you. And me, for that matter. We get to discuss things in a Jewish environment, hear others’ opinions that we may have never thought of, and discuss our own opinions (when the mods let) that others can appreciate.
Hmm, some of my other interests…I pretty much love anything that involves creativity. So that includes art, music, architecture, literature, product/car design, film, animation, gaming, cartoons, plays, performances, sports, public speaking, cooking, and many other things that I can’t name right now. But yeah, I love creativity. What are some of your interests? (Besides taking online algebra quizzes.)
queen bee- in starbucks when u order a coffee, they ask ur name so they can write it on the cup so when its ready they call out ur name and u get it from the pickup counter. don’t u ever go to starbucks??? I am addicted. try it.
queen bee- in starbucks when u order a coffee, they ask ur name so they can write it on the cup so when its ready they call out ur name and u get it from the pickup counter. don’t u ever go to starbucks??? I am addicted. try it.
QB: Are you my long lost twin or something? I’m from Brooklyn.
Queen Bee, nice list!
If I may ask, what are your favorite games? I’m a bit of a gamer myself. I’m mostly into fantasy/mystery RPG’s, racing games, and a few FPS games.
And I see nothing wrong with a frum girl pursuing a career in animation. I think that’s really cool, and something that I would have chosen as a second or third career option. I’ve made many animations over the years, including cartoons. I love it. And there are so many job opportunities in animation, and it just keeps on growing. And keep up the piano playing! It’s such a great thing to play an instrument.
Hmm, probably best to stay safe and not mention any games by name…
Concerning animation: true, it would be quite difficult for anyone, especially a Jewish girl, to work in game design. However, there are many other types of animation-related career options available which are easier to pursue, and most are able to be done (both schooling and jobs) online. Like web media design/animation, web advertising design/animation, graphic design, computer simulations, product rendering, and many more I’m sure.
I used to make cartoon animations and played around with 2D/3D graphics software. I mostly used Anime Studio, Photoshop, and Sketchbook. Now, for school, I use pretty hardcore programs, including Rhino, Maya, Corel, Illustrator, Graphite, and a few others. I also use a Wacom tablet to draw with.
If you have any questions please ask!
Sorry I already have a twin. You can be my triplet!
Ooh, yay!
About the animation thing- I was considering going into it at one point, and a teacher told me she’d had a student that did it at Brooklyn. Animations are starting to become more popular in the frum community (Oorah, some kids dvds etc) but its probably close to impossible to get work. If you ever hear of a way to do it for fun without breaking the bank, let me know!
You’ve all got it backwards. Outside of E”Y, you’re all OOT.
Quuen Bee, cool, so the games you like are very similar to what I like. And yeah, I used to spend a lot of time with MMORPG’s (WoW, AoE, EQ) but I got a little too addicted, so I cut down on those. I still play plenty of non-online games though, mostly RPG and FPS, like (I dunno if you’ll figure it out with the abbreviations): CS, UT, TES (all of them, but mostly O), PK, Q (all of them), BS, F (all of them), and many others. And COD is really awesome.
<b>cinderella</b>
<i>question for all the <b>brooklyners</b> out there- is s/o who does not live in brooklyn but does live in ny and not in like buffalo or like rochester but like 5 towns considered OOT? cuz i was talking to s/o from brkln and she was like- oh ur such an out of towner and i was like huh??? also it’s annoying when ppl refer to brkln as the city. MANHATTAN is the “city”, people. living in boro park doesnt mean u live in the city. Sorry, it just irks me.</i>
There should be a posted minimum age for using the Coffee Room, at the minimum to avoid silly text messages disguised as postings.
The world for people living in the borough of Brooklyn is “Brooklynites.”
Brooklyn has been part of the City of New York since 1898. You might wish to update your address book.
STVEF is actually a cool game! I like a little Sci-Fi…not nerdy at all. (Unless I’m also a nerd.) And I definitely recommend TES:O, it’s really good. Actually, all the TES games are awesome. I know “C”, but I’m unfamiliar with GAR. Wow, so you play on a SMG console…your’e a hardcore gamer! I was thinking of getting one of those wheel controls for my racing games (like NFS, GT), but I decided against it. And I realized earlier when I wrote the game “F”, it can refer to two different games, one that rhymes with “callout” and one that rhymes with “table”, and I like ’em both. I used to have a laptop that couldn’t handle the graphics, but now I have an awesome laptop with really good graphics (I needed it for school) so games are so smooth and high quality, it’s awesome.
I actually don’t own “table3” (So funny we’re calling it that!), but I’ve played the demo. It seems just as good as the first two (which I do own), which I thought were amazing. And yeah, NFS is so awesome, especially because I’m so into cars. I’ve literally played every NFS game that ever came out.
And that sucks about your video card. What type of card do you have now? I use a nVidia Quadro FX card. Are you the type that always gets the new games when they come out, or will wait till it gets cheaper? I usually wait till they get cheaper. 🙂
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