Reply To: is this normal after marriage?

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mommamia22
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I would need to see evidence that these emotional issues are under control. How long has he been on meds Has he been taking them consistently? What is he like when he’s off the meds? How severe are these emotional issues? Are they the types of issues that can interfere with his ability to function properly as a marriage partner and parent? These questions are very important because at any point in time, if he stops taking his meds that will be the person you are left with. How much insight does he (appear)to have about his issues? How long has he been in therapy for? How long with THIS therapist (he could be non-committal to the therapeutic process just by switching therapists often. When they progress in therapy and they delve too deep into the issues does he run scared and switch therapists? It’s hard to get the answers to these questions, you might have to do them gradually, or ask a reliable third party who knows him. DO NOT brush ANYTHING under the carpet. It will come back to haunt you later if you do.the issues may be minor, but you need to know what you’re dealing with and talk to people to know. Emotional maturity and stability is very important in marriage. A mekubal once told me that my husband is immature (without having met him). If my husban feels hurt or challenged he will attack back verbally with a vengeance. So, I live in fear of truly standing up for what I want. How can I advocate well for my kids if I can’t see a disagreement through with my husband? I’m not saying anyone has to be a perfect person before committing, but there are levels of acceptability. I fear conflict. I grew up in a home where we were not taught to communicate openly. I’m the perfect match with my husband. I fear conflict, and I’m with someone who will “punish” me in his own way if I take an argument too far and try to ride it out. Threats are a major part of my life. Check how well you talk and work things out together.