Well said. I also come from a troubled home. Most people don’t know exactly what went on, so they sometimes say things around me without knowing to be sensitive. One attitude that I noticed is quite common is that of, “These people have to change themselves. They cannot blame their parents–they need to take responsibility for themselves.” However, they also say, “My son/daughter/sister/brother will absolutely not go out with him/her,” because family is important, when you marry someone you marry their family etc.
I found this to be a catch 22: They want “us” to change, yet they won’t allow “us” to prove ourselves. 🙁
P.S. Do i know you?? Your details sound familiar…